she doesn't let me     One in Three

One in three adolescents will experience physical, emotional, or verbal abuse from a dating partner. Right now, there are students in your school who are intentionally using intimidating and abusive tactics to control their partner. Dating abuse is everywhere and can happen to anyone.

When You Observe Abuse:

Do:

  • Listen and believe – they are probably minimizing

  • Respect their intelligence

  • Be non-judgmental

  • Recognize their fears and problems as genuine

  • Refrain from lecturing and blaming

  • Refer student to social worker or counselor

  • If you fear for their safety let them know, and refer immediately.

Don’t:

  • Minimize or dismiss

  • Interrogate them for details

  • Act shocked

  • Take control and try to solve the problem for them

  • Criticize or put down the abusive partner

Say:

·         “No one deserves to be abused.”

·         “That sounds scary.”

·         “I care about what happens to you. What can I do to help?”

·         “I think you are strong.”

·         “If you feel afraid, it may be abuse.”

·         “The abuse is not your fault. You are not to blame.”

           “It is your partner who has a problem, not you. It is not your responsibility to help this person change.”

Be on the Lookout for Digital Dating Abuse:

  • Creating fake social networking accounts such as Facebook.

  • Pressuring their partner for nude or provocative photos through cell phone or computer. This is called “sexting.”

  • Sending or posting private photos online or by cell phone.

  • Sending threatening emails, texts and cell phone calls.

  • Using their partner’s password and email account to track activity by pretending to be him/her.

  • Harassing friends and family members online to further isolate their partner.

  • Sending repeated unwanted text messages to their partner demanding to know who they’re with, what they’re doing, etc. This is often referred to as “textual harassment.”

    The above behaviors may constitute stalking.

Why Teens May Not Confide in Adults

They are:

  • Afraid their parents will make them break up.

  • Embarrassed and ashamed.

  • Afraid of getting hurt.

  • Convinced that it is their fault or that they will be blamed or will be disappointed.

  • Confused — they may think this is what a relationship is all about.

  • Afraid of gossip and people turning against them.

They:

  • Have little or no experience with healthy dating relationships.

  • Believe being involved with someone is the most important thing in their life.

  • Confuse jealousy with love.

  • Do not realize they are being abused.

  • Do not think friends and others would believe this is happening.

  • Have lost touch with friends.

  • Know that the abuser acts nice — sometimes.

 You Can Help

Refer to school social worker or counselor. Follow your school protocol.

Call Family Crisis Services at 767-4952 and ask for the youth advocate.

Or Call Our Confidential Hotline: 1.866.834.4357    24/365

It is for teachers and coaches too! We will…

  • Listen to you and not judge.

  • Offer support and information about teen dating abuse.

  • Explore your student’s situation and answer any questions you may have.

  • Assist you in communicating effectively with your student

  • Keep your information confidential.